I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
