You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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