I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
