lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
