Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
