We got so high we made milksteak
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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