I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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