i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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