Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
