you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
