You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
