She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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