Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
