Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just found a bag of teeth...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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