Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Randomize
