Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
