Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize