Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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