Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
