girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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