Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
