today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize