i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
