I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
