There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
