So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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