you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
