I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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