Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
