i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
