I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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