words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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