Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
