yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
