this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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