apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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