Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
