I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
