How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
high people should be assigned attendants
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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