You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
