Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
