What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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