She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
