how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
