Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize