I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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