Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize