I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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