your thong is hanging out like whoa
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
