Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
