sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
