her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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