oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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