Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
