imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
