Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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