Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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