Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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