Non-Jews are for practice
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
