Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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