The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
