After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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